YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize