I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
