girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
