When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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