that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
