Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
