Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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