Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
