We're like a lot better than the average bears
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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