If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
