It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
