wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
