All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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