My brain says no but my pants say off.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
