Fine. I'll sleep in my office
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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