ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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