But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Randomize
