At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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