Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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