So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
