just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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