you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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