i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
