Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
