come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
