the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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