he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
