Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
