Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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