Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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