did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
ok first of all what the fuck
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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