Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
