In the future we'll all be gay
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
