Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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