Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
