i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
