North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
