We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How many fucks given?
0.12846
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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