I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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