love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
