sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize