wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
