i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
