Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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