oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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