TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
