Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
