i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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