Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
