ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just cut my nipple shaving
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
