Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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