I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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