Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
