Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
