The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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