I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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