is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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