you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize