Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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