dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
